I recently met someone from the country.
This person had always lived in the country. Real country. Cows, vegetable gardens, tree chopping, no running water.
We began talking about country life versus city life, as you do. He had not been in the city for more than a few days and already he missed the country. We were having coffee and breakfast in a little apartment (a box, he said) and he disliked the idea of being so boxed and close to other beings. That he couldn’t raise a loud political point or play loud music or make loud love without the neighbours being in on it all too.
I had lived in the country too and missed the freedom living so far from a neighbour gave you.
Soon the conversation became uglier. I remember the same bias I developed when I was a country person. There was something almost sub-human attached to those who lived in the city. As though, a city dweller, could not ever possibly be happy, because he or she was so far removed from what was essential to human happiness: proximity to “the land”, to what is natural, to what is age-old, to what is simple.
My country friend knew how to be happy. But I was not convinced that happiness could only be found by going “back to nature,” or backwards in any sense.
I’ve been writing some short essays as my alter-ego, Diotima. (The essays will make up a book of essays called Diotima’s Digression. Here is a relevant one on Happiness and the City.
The city life. A necessary evil? Cities are chaotic, crowded, and even cruel. City citizens spend an obscene amount of time in traffic, pay outrageous money for housing and exorbitant interest rates on loans and credit cards, inhale polluted air, and suffer from anxiety and stress.
But despite its many evils the city offers a world of goods. The city offers opportunities for career enhancement, earning good money, and buying the best clothes, gadgets, and homes. There are intoxicating parties and clubs here, tempting dining and drinking dens, and the best in cultural and intellectual enrichment. The big city also offers the promise of finding true love. Yet, even with all these goods, city-zens remain notoriously pessimistic.
But many, many years ago, one man went to the city and he was happy.
The year was 306 BC and Epicurus was thirty-five years old. He set up house (the famous “Garden”), invited his closest friends to join him, became self-sufficient, analyzed-away the problems in life, and by doing so, spent his days in blissful ataraxia (or tranquility) until the ripe old age of 72.
Epicurus shunned the “prison” of city life: the economic temptations, the societal pressures, the petty politics of work and everyday life. He was solely interested in the pursuit of pleasure.
Modern city-zens are also pursuing pleasure. Pleasure in material possessions, pleasure in wealth, pleasure in food, drink, and sex. But while city people the biggest consumers, they’re amongst the unhappiest. Why? Have the teachings of ancestor Epicurus been forgotten?
According to Epicurus, there is natural wealth and there is vanity wealth. Natural wealth is easy to get. It’s just your basic nutrition, clothing, accommodation, transport, and social interaction with good friends. In short: simple life, simple pleasures. Vain wealth is hard to get. More than that, it’s a trap. Vanity consumption can never be satiated because vanity demands more; a better mobile phone, a newer car, a bigger television set, and so on and so forth, ad infinitum.
Buying and owning things do bring pleasure and a sense of happiness. True. But here’s the flip side: pleasure brings pain. Overindulgence in the city (drinking, eating, spending too much) often leaves a citizen with one bitter hangover (headache, stomachache, remorse over debt). Epicurus wanted pleasure more than anything, but he also knew that too much of a good thing ended up being a bad thing. As far as he was concerned, happiness was freedom from pain and fear.
Epicurus’s recipe for happiness is simple. Make personal happiness your goal. Simply make happiness your goal so that your happiness isn’t dependent on wealth, cars, villas, or fame. Instead, possessing things or not possessing them should depend on whether they will make you happy. It’s the slightest shift in thinking, a mere philosophical game, but it makes all the difference.
Epicurus believed that a philosophical outlook on life cured a troubled mind and increased peace of mind, or ataraxia. This meant freedom from pain and fear, which meant happiness.
But more than anything else, Epicurus observed, a truly happy life is one in which you are surrounded by true friends. True friends don’t judge you by your wealth, success, or status. True friends and true friendships exist for their own sake, not for mutual gain. Best of all, friendship, being a natural wealth, is free and easy to obtain in a city.
It is the simple life, and a bunch of true friends, that brings happiness.